| good times, for a change... |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|09:16 pm] |
see, the luck i've had.. could make a good man turn bad.
It's been nice knowing you... But This livejournal is done.
thanks for reading (or at least pretending to read) my heartaches, internet fights, loves, hates, and well... life. Have a good one.
peace and love,
Haley Mariah Tuesday Wise.
p.s. I will be making a new livejournal... but chances are i am not going to add you, unless i know trust and love you. :] |
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| from now on... |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|04:03 pm] |
.Friends only, Bitches.</center |
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| some girls are bigger than others. |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|12:30 am] |
I am Wrong. Spoiled. Immature. Selfish. Disrespectful. Naive. and utterly fucking, Alone.
'Just wait, when you turn 18 and you're out on your own everybody is going to hate you even more.'
I have alot to look forward to, apparently.
This has gotten way out of hand.
You can have my family, friends, and home..
but I wish you would just leave me the fuck alone.
What more do you want from me? What else is there to say?
I am wrong. You are right.
Just like every other fucking time.
I don't even know why I bother. I don't even know why I try.
I give up.
None of it amounts to anything, anyway.
I wish I could just leave, now.
I'm ready to burn my bridges and never come home, now. |
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| post script |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|06:39 pm] |
shannons entry reminded me, i have a new aim sn. anyone who talks to me on there, my new one is:hmtw wtmh
with the space and errythang.
okpeece. |
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| im sooooo sad |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|05:22 pm] |
Some fuckass neighbor of mine, KICKED MY CAT IN THE FACE. They fucking broke her teeth and made her nose bleed and shes limping all over and all bloody and im soooo upset.
If and when i find out who did it, i will shoot their bitch ass. And I swear to god I will break their teeth out...
my poor little frankenstein... how i love you so.
(back when she was healthy... awwwww)
revenge is a bitch. im going to go kill every animal in the neighborhood.
im fucking going crazy. |
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| i ain't never put it down like this befoe' |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|09:19 pm] |
libby called today but i couldnt call her back cause i dont have her number and it makes me sad. tomorrow im hanging out with whitney hopefully and i think lisa is going to be here and that will be rad. seattttttttttttttle, here we come.
i feel hella boring. eh.
OMG OMG OMG. we got a kitten! its so cute, and his name is cutter and im in love. I hope frankenstein will take kindly to him and so i can keep him. i want him to love me because none of our pets ever like me and i hate it. haha, hes just so dang cute. i cant wait till whit breeds phoebe so i can have a cute little black chihuahua. haha, man oh man.
i can't fucking wait to get my hair done. one of these nights im just gonna do it myself because sara sucks and wont call us or get back to me or anything. lameeeeeee.
bah, im gonna go.
Cutter, i'm in love with you.
the end. |
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| wtf omgz lyke, lol. |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|01:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mcd- press gang | ] |
I'm actually out of bed/my room BEFORE 5 o clock in the afternoon.
aren't ya proud?
I want to do something today, since im up to actually have a full day.
someone wanna hang out with me? eh?
i need to get my hair done soon. I want a whole bunch of blonde chunks in it, and i want it cut... i gotta talk to little sara or something. ehhh.
i don't even know what to do with myself right now. i woke up at 1245. fuckin a.
I have a crush on drew wylie. haha, not really. i just fucking love his voice and his words and his songs. god damn. he needs to get signed... now. please? k thx. i want the world to hear this. haha, even if its not your thing you have to recognize his voice, and how much talent it carries. oh snap...
last night i watched gothika. i heard it sucked from alot of people... but it wasnt all bad. it has a little of everything that scary movies are supposed to have. It weirded me the hell out, thats for sure.
i want to go see willy wonskeet. now, please.
and i want to go to seattle. now, please.
fuck.
im going to go. im bored. |
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| I'm feelin couped up, you know it sure is shitty.. |
[Aug. 5th, 2005|09:31 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | mcd- i want alot now | ] |
i don't want to live here anymore...
-
I just took a shower and got dressed and did my hair and makeup for... nothing. I'm hoping someone will call/get online and say:
"haleyyyy, let's go to coffee because i'm bored and I would love the pleasure of your company."
anyone? eh?.... ha, i give up.
My fucking lip piercing hurts. The first one i got, the one on the side. I don't know why but it hurts sooo fugging bad. gahhhhd dammit. I'm thinking about taking it out, but I don't think i like single lip piercings. on me, at least. gah. I've had it pierced for what... 6 months? it shouldn't be hurting anymore. bitdh ass mutha focka.
anywayyy, lura and bonnie and i are sitting around and watching sex and the city. I hope my brothers stay with these girls. They'd be pretty kickass sister in-laws. Me and lura already fight like sisters, ha. it's gonna happen...
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Everyone is doing It...
ALEXXXIS:
We fight like sisters.. but i'm more honest with you than anyone. You know me, inside and out. Thanks for driving me everywhere I need to go, and the day I get my volvo you know ima return the favor. Sometimes things suck, and sometimes i'm a little more honest than i should be.. but you know i love you, unconditionally. I'm looking forward to our next bedroom dance partyyy.
WHITNEY:
You have always been there when I needed you, and I appreciate it more than anything. I have fun with you and I know I can trust you with everything. I wish you the best of luck with tayler, or whomever you decide is worthy of your time. You deserve the best.. don't settle for less. Whether it be your friends or boyfriends, you deserve better than most can offer. I love you, and i'll never forget that blood splattered face of yours on the night I was at my lowest point. I appreciate your friendship more than I can explain. You my favorite hippy, peaaceeee bitch.
TORI:
Even though you probably won't read this, im going to write it anyway. You are amazing. Really, thats all I can say about you. You are a great friend and you make me laugh and you're the only one who will paint pictures of me/for me. and I love it...
LURA:
You're my sister.. I love you no matter what. No matter how much we fight or the words we say (and regret), I look up to you and always will. I appreciate your advice and concern and our girly chats.. are the best. And, I don't trust anyone else when it comes to my makeup. Thanks for everything, big sister of mine.
SHANNON:
You are an AMAZING girl. I can't believe how young you are, because you are so well-rounded and smart. I like our talks, and I enjoy your company very much. our "get low" tattoos are going to rule all others. I look forward to hanging out with you alot more.
KELSI:
Nigga, I love yo face... you're alot of fun, i love hanging out with you. and i love that you swear more than me. and say "cunt" and a regular basis. and how strong you are when it comes to boys.. i admire you.
all my girls are beautiful and wonderful and fun. i wish ALL of us could hang out like old times... but since things change and people grow apart, i'm fine hanging out with each on their own. loveee you all.
-
murder city devils fucking rule. i dont care who you are if you don't like them, eat a big fat dick. The end.
anyway, ima go... i'm borrred. blah.
- |
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| take my hand and off we stride... |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|04:01 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the more you ignore me... | ] |
this is the tattoo design i came up with for danny and i. its still just a sketch but, yeah.. heres the gist of it. this ones dannys. mine says "im a girl, youre a boy"
yeah.
i better go get ready to go. im chillin with the shannon tonite and going to some show in bellevue. maybe i'll see anna!?!?!. prolly not. shes a working girl...
welp, peaceeeeee. |
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| And the doctor said "don't nod your head until june." |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|09:14 pm] |
im watching my moz dvd... and i love it. and i love this song so much.
Pregnant for the last time= heaven
the lyrics are silly but.. this song is just so danceable.
thats all.
my parents are fighting because my dad is stubborn. fun. im just hiding in the livingroom with morrissey and a cup of coffee. fun.
I cant wait until next week... grah.
I really need to finish cleaning my room. and i need to listen to good music. and sing really loud. and dance in my booty shorts.
here i go.
'so you see someone new
and you want someone new
so you have someone new...
i don't blame you.' |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|02:13 am] |
ok so... tori hates me.
awesome.
oh, and fuck whoever left that stupid ass comment on my last entry. Looks like i'm going to be diasbling anonymous posts. shithead.
Today i was in the worst mood and hungover all day. I layed on the beach and got realllly hot and sweaty and i didnt feel like swmimming so i just layed there and got a heat rash and almost passed out. yes, i hate the sun. I wore hella sunblock though, so i didnt burn or tan. i was pretty happy about that.
I guess i'm not going to toris anymore. My mom is friggin weird when it comes to my plans and me going places. We got in a fight. Definately not what i was in the mood for. Then she made me a big special dinner and everyone ate before me, and there wasnt any left.. I just had a piece of pita bread for dinner. awesome.
Tomorrow is probably going to suck. I'll be sitting at my house watching movies and being ugly all day. awesome.
I really fucking hate summer.
I really fucking miss someone...
and i swear, it's not ben. (i'm a shitty liar.) |
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| im so muther fucking bored. |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|02:36 pm] |
i did my chores and im in my bathing suit waiting to leave... but i cant get a hold of anyone.
im pissed. ha, not really. just impatient as a mother fucker...
my hair is getting to long/annoying.
ima post pictures. yep, thats what im gonna do.
( i like tori and yellow and black makeup. )
ok... that didn't take enough time at all.
im still hella bored and sitting here. lameeee. |
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| Give me half a chance and I will show you my darker side. |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|01:02 pm] |
give me just a little time, and i'll make you regret it.
-
Last night was ok. I got drunk and i'm pretty ashamed of myself... I was doing soooo good.
Eh well, judging by this hangover... I'm done for a long fucking time.
I feel like such a weiner.. gah. me and tori were hella goofy drunks. haha, that was alright. She scratched my back while i was puking, puking STRAIGHT beer mind you. I didnt have anything to eat yesterday, so at least i wasnt puking up gross food and stuff. It was just like, water... grah. either way, it sucked... i was talking about my dinosaur spine, because tori said it stuck out too much. haha. I also got a new nickname and it OWNS all others...
bananafanna
yes, i love tori. now i got 'hay hay' 'hay hay-bo-bay bay' and 'bananafanna' and ben called me 'bananahammock' hahahahahaha. my friends are cool. and nice. and ben made me a vegetarian egg broccoli thing. I dont remember what it was, i just remember dropping it all over myself. haha, it was so nice of them to take such good care of me though. I was fine but, still a very nice gesture for the both of them to make. Then ben gave me two of andys cds and HOLY SHIT, they are amazing. I remember when andy played all his songs for me and we sang together and it ruled. now i have his cds and i can listen to them alla da time and swoon all over his amazing fucking voice. man oh man.
anyway, i guess i should go get ready. i think im going to the river with lexis ans shanonononnnononn. I hope i dont get sunburned. I better bring hella sunblock.
peaace.
-
give me all of your pain and I will project it on the wall
so we all, can see.... aren't you pretty? |
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| I got a bad case of loving you |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|03:38 am] |
ha, this song is soooo shitty.
anyway, im a little bit tipsy. I just got home from bens house. we drank beer. it was nice talking to tori and ben. I guess i'm going to toris ranch thing for the weekend. Im excited. I love tori.
TORI= MY BEST FRIEND.
the end.... bed time. |
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| "stuck in love, there no easy way out..." |
[Jul. 26th, 2005|04:11 pm] |
Last night i went to sleep at a reasonable time. that was fucking weirddd...
I feel asleep around 330. it was amazing. I ended up waking up at about 11:30 which is the time I usually fall asleep at.. I was so excited to have a full day ahead of me.
Me and alexis went for coffee at starbucks, her treat. It was nice not having to pay this time. haha, i knew shed pay me back eventually. I'm so glad we got to talk and just spend a few hours together. Her and I will always be friends, no matter what happens. I love that about us. It was nice to hear shes been doing so well and things with her mom have been sorted out and shes feeling better about her life. She deseves happiness... My day has been just, nice so far.
Today is kyles birfday. I sent him an email. It was nice that i remembered, because I would have felt like an asshole tomorrow if i'd forgot. I mean, he remembered mine and all.
Tonight I am supposed to go play with tori. I'm excited. I miss her so much. It's been too long since i've seen her, and ben. I can't wait.
I talked to tascar and casey alot about my boy situtation. Tascars advice was "stuck in love, theres no easy way out." I hate confusion... But after our chat i feel alot beter. We also talked alot about school and what i'm going to do next year. I like having talks with tascar... meh. thats all.
I feel good today.
I'm happy.
anyway, I'm going to go work on some art fag shit and listen to more river city rebels. i need to find my new york dolls cd. Tascar stole it the day after i got it. weiner. haha.
have a good day, all. |
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| Father, gonna take your daughter out tonite... |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|08:54 pm] |
ok so, Vh1 classics is playing the best shit right now.
1. Danzig
2. Guns N Roses
3. Iron Maiden.
i mean come on, has there ever been a better line up? honestly...
oh, and earlier they played
1. Morrissey
2. Depeche Mode
yeah, i thought about danny during those two... hah. I seriously have the BEST surprise planned for when he gets back. bwaha. I'm so excited.
-
Anyway, I better call whitney because its almost 9 and they havent called me yet. Boo. and stuff.
-
I love candy and vitamin water and new eyeliner and fortune cookies and carmex.
haha, random.
shut up. |
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| i have the most amazing friends... |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|04:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | i gotta pee. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | moz. | ] |
Theres whitney:
dear lovely.haley...
you mean the world to me and you are definitely one of
my favorite people. i get pist everytime our plans fall through
and amazed when they dont. you're the best friend i never had growing
up. and now that i've found you... i'll be damned if i ever let you go.
i can tell you pretty much everything. and you understand it all too.
you are by far the most amazing gerl i have ever met. you're funny.
you're strong. you're encouraging. you're beautiful. you're talented.
in everything you do. you're determined. you're motivated. you're simply
amazing. i have so much faith in you. and i know u will succed in anything
and everything you do. dont let this shitty world and society bring you down
just because they have certain expectations of you. you're you.
you're haley mariah tuesday wise. and you're damn good at it.
i know you will do amazing things.
i loveee.e.e.eeee.e.e.e.eeee.e.ee you.
-
This girl is just fucking sincere. I really wish I could explain to her just how much she means to me. She is beautiful and kind and considerate. She immediately left a party when she knew i needed her help.. and I know no matter how important the party, she is always a phone call away, and will always be there when i need her. And not only that... but I have fun with her. She makes me laugh, and smile... I really don't know how i would survive without her...
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Theres Tori:
-
Ok, tori is amazing.. for real. This girl has so much attitude and so much personality, i'm just drawn to her. She genuinely and sincerely cares for me, which is a big thing with me. Shes fun and loud but is capable of serious conversations. She voices her opinion and isn't scared to piss people off if she feels a certain way. She's strong, but such a baby on the inside... and I just adore her.
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And, There's Danny:
DannyLugosiDeadx [12:23 AM]: i'm here for you, no matter what
-
I don't know, danny and I really haven't hung out much.. but for the few times we have over these past few years... just recently we have become pretty fucking good friends. He is so supportive and protective and the most amazing telephone conversation i've ever had. I know he is sincere, just as sincere as whitney or tori.. and I don't quite understand it but, I love it. We have everything to the moon and back in common but at the same time we're so different that it just works. And, makes for some pretty interesting conversation. We really don't hang out half as often as we should, but I plan on seeing alot more of that boy. He is an amazing individual and I feel lucky to be his friend, and nightly telephone call.
-
This is all i need, and want. I am complete with these three people at my back.
you're jealous... :]
-
nite. |
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| "the only reason I didn't let myself puke, was because my lipgloss was so cute." |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|01:11 am] |
so, today... alot of sleep.
tomorrow i really hope to get out and do something. The days are going by faster and faster, and i'm having a hard time keeping up. I need the city, and my friends, and new clothes.
Seattle shopping trip, ladies?
Lets do it.. like tomorrow. eh?? pleeeeeeease?
and lets see movies. I need to see willy wonka and the devils rejects.. like now. okthanks.
girls day/night.. tomorrow.
it's funny... he won't even be there.
mehh, oh well.
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I had a series of dreams featuring Anna last night. We were walking along in the middle of the freeway and there weren't any cars. She was wearing a really long extravagant black gown and everytime she spun around, you could see rainbow colors underneath. It was beautiful. Anyway, we were on the freeway, and everytime we said something it echoed. and we were laughing and rolling around on the street and playing tag on the freeway.. then we saw a few random boys without faces... which was weird. but they invited us to a video game. only we went inside the video games and had to like actually act out the game. and i was trying to get to danny. he was like the princess at the end of mario. and i had to save him... i kept having to repeat levels and when i finally got to him, he was on an empty stage with a single spotlight on him and he was singing "I won't share you" to me, in an empty auditorium. and he sounded EXACTLY like morrissey and i like rushed the stage and all of the sudden the floor was full of people all cheering and screaming and he turned into morrissey but he was still danny, and i tried to get onstage and the security grabbed me and i dont know. nothing else cool happened. and i dont know. but it was an alright dream.. haha.
-
anyway, i think ima go. i'm bored... or something.
peace. |
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| one two three, here goes the martyr... |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|08:43 am] |
| [ | music |
| | i have morrrrrisssssey stuck in my head. | ] |
so, another long and sleepless night now past.. My futures not looking very bright. As long as this insomniac bit continues, i'm pretty much fucked. My eyes ache and burn for sleep, but my body mind just can't settle.
oh well...
Yesterday i watched "Pink Flamingos" and holy shit was it fucked up... Ben and tori said it was gross, but i had no idea. man oh man... anyway, it totally inspired me to paint after I day dreamed about drag queens and cannibalism and murder and trash all evening. Danny and I talked while i was painting, same ol conversation. He leaves the day after tomorrow for california. Oh well, i guess. Plans fall through. I'm kind of over it... all of it. I hope he has a safe trip and doesn't die on the plane. Thats really all I can do, now.
Alexis went home for the first time in like a month. I'm glad shes finally able to talk to her mom and fix her life. Though our friendship has been rather shaky/up and down lately.. she deserves better than what she has been recieving. I think a little discipline would do well for her though i mean, it did wonders for me. I genuinely care about her and whether or not she feels the same for me, Genuine, I just want her to be safe.
Amber pretty much fucked herself over too. Rumors get around, fast. Its like a drug, and it has always been that way. I don't know why she expected it to be any different in her case... and i'm not trying to sound harsh. I'm just being honest... and to be completely honest no matter how hard we try, there will always be a rumor somewhere. There's no escaping it. As much as it sucks, people talk. fuck, i know i do.. and you do too, you have to admit it. And, There is really absolutely nothing anyone can do about it... Especially when your actions compliment your rumor.
I really care about that girl as well, and it fucking kills me to see her mess up like this. Sure, everyone makes mistakes.. but in order for it to go away, you have to fix it. You can't just sit by and wait for your reputation to perish which, it will. Just do better, for yourself. Stop being the 'drunk slut' that you are made out to be. Both you and I know the truth, and this is the farthest from. You made a mistake as all of us do. You're only human. Just have some respect, just fucking take care of yourself.
I'm done with parties. I'm done drinking. I'm done smoking. No drugs. I'm fucking done abusing my body. As I see things now, i am all i have. I only get one body, and one mind. I'd like to keep them healthy and be somebody one day. I'm not staying in this shithole of a town, and I'm not going to turn into what I know i'm expected to be. I'm better than that. I'm stronger than this. I don't need any of it.. and theres really no fucking point in pretending I do...
and you know, as much as i love danny and respect the shit out of him for being straight edge... fuck straight edge. I don't believe that because I choose to be sober, that I am better than any of you. I don't believe that it tells anything about who you are as a person. As an individual..
I mean sure, being straight edge and reppin' the X welcomes you into a community.. and when you get fucked up and drink yourself stupid you aren't welcomed anywhere. but i see it as a descision each person should make, and I have made it for myself..
As far as substance goes, I just don't see the point in wasting my brain and talent and body on something temporary...
and As far as straight edge goes, I don't see the point in wasting my time with another scene that i will never be 'good enough' for anyway.
Either way, from now on I'm just doing my best to stay clean..
but, thats just me.
This weekend doesn't seem to hold much for me... And next week, i'm not even going to have my nocturnal telephone calls... What the hell am i going to do all night?
Maybe me and the girls can have a grande reunion. (i mean all the girls... alexis, shannon, kelsi, whitney, amber, the cool amber and haley...)
Maybe anna isn't working one of these days and will want to drive to arlington to see me.
Maybe Tori will call me and invite me over to play.
Maybe my mom and I will go on a walk together.
Maybe I will get to go to the movies twice and see willy wonka and that new rob zombie mooovie.
who knows? Plans can fall through, and so often they do. psh, who needs plans? i'm hella spontaneous.
--
anyways, ima go watch a movie and hopefully fall asleep on the couch.
sorry about my rants and vents. deal wit it.
peeeeeeecebitch. |
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